Nikola Pekovic is my favorite Timberwolf.
He’s huge, he’s tough and he has a giant tattoo on his upper arm of a large cloaked warrior holding a broadsword that is crushing a pile of skulls. I once mentioned on Facebook that only a 6’11”, 290 giant from Eastern European cold pull that tattoo off. A stranger who had just friended me commented “Yeah, let’s hope he ‘pulls it off’ because that tattoo is lame-o.'” Blocked! You’d be better off insulting my kids in front of me than Big Pek. (I don’t have any kids, but if I did I would force them…no, no, that’s wrong…encourage them to get the Pekovic tattoo in 6th grade as a way to fend off bullies.)
Honestly, I don’t get star-struck. I’ve met a fair share of famous people and they usually just seem like regular human beings to me.
That said, if I met Pek I’d probably turn into a shaky-kneed little girl who just found out that One Direction is coming over for dinner. I’ve already planned out what I’d do if I met him, where it would be and how many pictures/autographs I’d get. (I’d scream and it would be in the the skyway. One autograph and two pictures.)
But dammnit, Pek, where the hell was your head last night? His box score doesn’t look horrible at first glance. He had a double-double with 11 points, 10 rebounds, two steals and a block. But during a big stretch of the first half he fumbled, turned over and flat-out goofed everything up play after play. He shot 5-13 and missed a handful of easy, gimme shots. He looked horrible.
I’m not one of those people who thinks I can do better. Yeah, I’m 6’5″ and 225. But I’m shaped like a Weeble Wobble. And I do fall down. A lot. I find it difficult to hold my arms in the air for more than three seconds at a time. If my teeth get hit I get a headache and need to sit down for the rest of the day. I am a pussy. But when a professional athlete can’t do something that is supposed to be a given, it drives me insane.
And for Pek, that something is bunny shots. He’s supposed to catch the ball and either pass it or take a shot that is preferably two inches from the rim. But last night he couldn’t do either. He looked like an Amish kid who just got tossed an Iphone.
Other noteworthy things from last night: Andrei Kirilenko didn’t play due to back spasms, which were apparently brought on by his horrible dragon back tattoo. Derrick Williams threw down a thunderous one-handed dunk and then proceeded to play like an idiot for the rest of the game, Malcolm Lee showed some of his potential and Ricky Rubio was cleared for full-contact practice!!!
That is intensely positive news for the Timberwolves. Everything changed last year after Rubio went down. The air went out of the team, the fans, even Michael Beasley’s water-bong. It does make me a little nervous, though. I don’t want to rush him back only to have him crumble again like a fragile little Spanish Christmas ornament. Cuidado, Ricky Rubio, cuidado. Take your vitamins, stay away from Kobe Bryant and if a blue Robin Williams genie gives you some wishes, ask for three knees.