Well, we have a losing record again.
It’s actually kind of comforting. Like a pair of ratty sweat pants, it’s familiar and screams “I give up!” Spill some mustard on it. Who cares? It’s not like you’re going anywhere.
Okay, I think I’m taking this a little too hard. Nobody’s giving up just yet. 5-6 isn’t the end of the world. As we all know, we still have a lot of injuries and that will correct itself. Plus, it takes time to work your superstar back into the rotation.
But there is one giant elephant in the room that needs to be addressed: Michael Beasley 2.0.
Otherwise known as Derrick Williams.
D-Will has played zero minutes the last two games. NOT ONE minute. And he’s not injured. That’s the #2 pick in the 2011 draft we’re talking about here. And LOU AMUNDSON played for crying out loud! Dude looks like a NARC from 21 Jump Street.
Rick Adelman always seems to have one or two players that he’s not fond of and this year that player is clearly Williams. It’s actually one of the many things I love about our coach. He does not suffer bad playing and lousy attitudes. If you aren’t helping, you sit. End of story. Barring the possibility that Adelman had a senior moment and simply forgot Williams existed for two games, I’d say that somebody’s in the dog house. Or on the trading block. Or both.
Should we trade him? Yes, yes and yes. There has been a much rumored deal for a while now about some kind of Pau Gasol for Williams-plus-someone deal. I would love for that to happen. Gasol still has a lot of juice in him and he’s boys with Ricky Rubio. That’d give us two sets of Russian/Spaniard Super-Friends. And each of those two groups would have one ugly person and one heart-throb, like an athletic Hall & Oates times two. It’s perfect. Except unfortunately Gasol would push our awkward white guy level to Defcon 5. There’s only so many times we can say “We’re diverse! We’re GLOBAL!” before it starts to get suspect. (But quit calling JJ Barea white. He’s Puerto Rican! Yeah, he’d look completely at home at a Toby Keith concert but his name is JOSE!)
Derrick Williams has the potential to be a really good player. I think he’s got tons of talent and most likely has a good future in the NBA as a third or maybe even second option. He can jump through the roof and has flashes of brilliance. But he plays the same position as the best power forward in the league and his key competitor for back-up minutes at the 4 (Dante Cunningham) has proven he has the heart of a lion. Williams had all summer to learn how to play the 3 and seemingly either couldn’t or wouldn’t do it.
So how can Derrick Williams turn things around, get on Adelman’s good side and save his season? I brainstormed for an hour and this is what I came up with:
Suggestion #1) Learn to play basketball better.
That’s all I’ve got.
Oh, so you were awesome in college? Guess what, so was everybody else. This is the NBA. When I was in fifth grade I was a damn good saxophone player. Some might even say the best at Jefferson Elementary. Nobody could play the Batman theme or “We’re Not Going To Take It” by Twisted Sister better than me. But then I moved on to middle school, and suddenly I wasn’t the best. Kevin Deal (the LeBron James of early-90s northern Iowa middle-school saxophonists) was the undisputed king. And do you know what I did? I did what any self-respecting American would do: I quit. I quit and then opted to throw M&Ms at the marching bands’ helmets from the bleachers during football games instead.
So shit or get off the pot, Derrick Williams. We don’t need you. Either be more of a team player and less of an inconsistent cry-baby, or start working on your estate sale.