I’m pretty sure I ruined the Minnesota Timberwolves.
It wasn’t the Joe Smith scandal that did it, or our abysmal drafting record.
It’s the fact that I started this blog.
We’ve been winless since I decided to make a bad pun on a Rancid album and start chronicling each game. I’m 0-4. Even Kurt Rambis had a better record.
I’m a very superstitious dude. As a stand-up comedian, if I ever have a bad set I never wear the shirt I was wearing again. I have two shirts left.
I actually really like doing this blog though, so I’m not going to quit. I’ve been so optimistic before each game and then we’ve lost.
Just this once, I’m going to try a different approach:
We are going to lose so bad on Tuesday against the Sacramento Kings. We are going to score zero points. Probably the whole team will be injured. This will begin a 40 game losing streak. There’s no way that Ricky Rubio will come back sooner than expected. And we’ll certainly never make the playoffs and establish ourselves as the team of the future and arch-rivals to our only competitor, the Oklahoma City Thunder. (Fuck you, Lakers.)