The 76ers understand our pain.
They haven’t lost a handful of players to injury like we have, but they lost their main guy, Andrew Bynum. Not only is he potentially out for the whole season or more with a knee injury, but it’s reportedly from bowling.
Bowling! Are you fricking kidding me? Dude spends two months in Philly after being traded from LA and suddenly he’s getting hurt playing fat people sports. What did Philly do to this man? His bones are already full of cheese steak and foam from Yuengling beer cans.
Is he 25 or 50? Next he’s going to get backed over by a PT Cruiser or break his arm reaching for his protective case cell phone that’s hooked to his belt. (I don’t know what happens to men after 50 but 95% of them wear their phones on their belts. Maybe their pockets are filled with Gold Bond and Metamucil and there’s no room?)
Seriously, I just can’t get over this. You shouldn’t be getting hurt at 25 while bowling. How hard are you bowling, anyway? Did you fling yourself into the pins? God help the Sixers if he tries to play ping-pong or darts. This man is a professional athlete! When I was 25, I could jump off a building and land on a pile of construction cones covered in thumb-tacs and I’d just shake it off. Today, at 34, I can’t even walk on a treadmill without hurting my neck, but I also don’t get paid millions of dollars to physically do things.
So while the Timberwolves have a grab-bag of temporary injuries, we are still in much better shape than the 76ers. They’re screwed. It’s entirely possible that their entire hope for the future is not going to pan out.
I’m never happy for injuries on any team. I want all teams to win or lose based on their own merits, not misfortunes. But we needed this win and with Bynum out we just coasted. It might truly be the first really easy victory of the season for us. Kevin Love only had six points and 10 rebounds in 26 minutes but it didn’t matter. Alexey Shved shot the lights out on threes and had 17 points, Josh Howard had 16 points and 10 rebounds and J.J. Barea, Derrick Williams, Luke Ridnour and Malcolm Lee all had ten points apiece. And with that, we have won three out of our last four games and return to .500! Hurray! That’s the goal: .500 until Ricky Rubio comes back.
I really think that Alexey Shved is making a very convincing case for him to be on the All-Rookie First Team at the end of the year. He’s averaged 16.7 points the last three games and comes off as much more experienced than the average noob. I cannot wait to see him and Rubio play together. Not only do they have similar games, but they give us 2/5 of a potential boy band. We need to sign more pretty players to make that work though, because Nikola Pekovic and anemic scarecrow Kirilenko are freaking out 12-year-old girls across the nation.
In unrelated news, the New Orleans Hornets have decided to change their name to the New Orleans Pelicans. This could happen as early as next season. I for one think it’s a great name, as nothing strikes fear into the hearts of opponents like a gangly, squawky, freak bird that sits on piers and poops on things.
Next up, we play Celtics tonight in Boston. Let’s hope that Rajon Rondo gets kicked out again for choking a player. I suggest Greg Stiemsma take one for the team.