Holy shit, we’re 3-0!

Posted: 11/04/2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Carmelo Anthony's patented "Mime In a Box" defense failed to stop the Wolves on Sunday.  Photo from mediamrs.com

Carmelo Anthony’s patented “Angry Mime In a Box” defense failed to stop the Wolves on Sunday. Photo from mediamrs.com

Somebody pinch me.

We’re 3-0 for the first time since 2001, something even the 2004 Western Conference Finals Timberwolves with KG couldn’t do.  We’re not just winning either, we’re really sticking it to teams.  At one point in the Oklahoma City Thunder and New York Knicks games we were up 34 and 23 respectively.  Kevin Love and Kevin Martin are playing like beasts.  Even the perennially confused and goat-faced Derrick Williams is looking good.

To be fair, Derrick Williams spent the whole summer training against the toughest competition.  Photo from 1.bp.blogspot.com

To be fair, Derrick Williams spent the whole summer training against the toughest competition. Photo from 1.bp.blogspot.com

“Yeah,” you say.  “But the Philadelphia 76ers are also 3-0 and they’re worse than the fat kid from Teen Wolf.”  Shut up!  Philly is just a fluke, okay?  They’re in the Eastern Conference.  They’ve played against two marching bands and a sock.  (Actually, the Bulls, Wizards and Heat. But I still stand by my Wizards/sock comparison.)

Here’s the part that really freaked me out: I went on Twitter and found tons of tweets of surprise and intrigue, like “Wow, the Timberwolves are for real this year!  They’re stomping the Knicks!”  But there were also a lot of “I’m jumping on the T-Wolves bandwagon!”  Now, it should be known that we need bandwagon fans.  The more popular and “cool” the Wolves seem, the better chances of Kevin Love staying.  That said, who are these spineless, trendy, fairweather fans that come out of nowhere?  For the last ten years, the Timberwolves have been about as appealing as Bill Laimbeer in a boy band.  I’m sorry, but you don’t get to call yourselves a real Timberwolves fan unless you either live in Minnesota or the very idea of Kurt Rambis makes you want to barf all over Troy Hudson’s rap album.

Enough of the negatives.  Here’s the positive: We’re healthy and we’re going to prove ourselves to a ton of people this year.  And most importantly, we got a bit of swagger.  After we went up big on the Knicks on Sunday, they came back and we still fought them off.  Kevin Love hit a crazy, off balance shot to pretty much seal it for us.  And when he ran down the sideline he shoved his hand in Knicks’ superfan Spike Lee’s face and yanked a high five from him.  I love it.  It sums up this Minnesota Timberwolves team perfectly: We’ve been overlooked to the point of non-existence.  But we’re here, we’re whooping your team’s ass and your lousy movie-directing ass can’t ignore us anymore.  So do the right thing and watch us get ours this year.

Up next, we play the team that LeBron James definitely won’t be going back to.  Will the Wolves go 4-0? Or will Kyrie Irving and the corpse of Andrew Bynum stop our streak?  Go Wolves!

Comments
  1. José Eça de Queiroz says:

    Well, not a Minnesotan from Minny, but still a ‘Minnesotan’ and mostly a Timberwolf of heart. I don’t intend to live in Minnesota, mainly due to the cold. Living west from the Mediterranean makes me not wanting to live in a place where temperatures get cold enough that would make my urine freeze. But! I do want to visit Minny A LOT, I just hope that the flights get cheaper meanwhile – all this to say: I do barf when thinking about Rambis, and I do not possess a light stomach, so that’s something

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