Beardless Kevin Love Forgets Where His Power Lies, Can’t Recall How To Shoot Free Throws

Posted: 01/06/2014 in Uncategorized
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Kevin Love missed those free throws on purpose.  It was a political statement.

Ollie Hoosiers Free Throw 2

The first one was in solidarity with the missed opportunities of third world nations around the world.

Ollie Hoosiers Free Throw 1

The second one was a reminder that we build our love for each other day by day, brick by brick.

Ollie Hoosiers Free Throw 3

The third one he was actually supposed to miss, but somehow missed it wrong.  Um…for PETA?

He didn’t choke.  He’s Susan Sarandon.

Kevin Love Game Winner

The truth is, Kevin Love had an awesome game.  He’s the best PF in the league.  But it ended so, so badly.  It was like taking a long, refreshing pull of Antarctic spring water and then realizing that the last few drops were Dick Cheney’s microwaved butt sweat squeezed from his yoga pants by Kevin Durant.  The mood went from “YES!  WE’RE GOING TO WIN THIS!” to “At least we’ll still tie and go to overtime” to “God doesn’t exist and happiness is an illusion.”  You know, a Timberwolves game.

Perhaps Minnesota is a bit over-dramatic as a fan-base.  I’ve personally written off the season and then predicted a championship at least seven times each so far.  But with the only franchise player we’ve had in ten years threatening to leave if things don’t shape up, we can be excused for being a bit high-strung when things don’t go our way.  Which is all the time.  There’s only so many times that John Lennon can threaten to quit the Beatles before you throw Yellow Submarine against the wall and call Yoko a bitch.  Wings may have sucked but at least they all wanted to be there.

Next up, we play the sad and lonely Philadelphia 76ers.  A team so lousy and confused that they’re messing up tanking.  The bad news: They’re on a four game winning streak, all on the road, including one against a very good Portland Trailblazers.  The good news:  At least we’re not the Sixers.  Go Wolves!

Comments
  1. bblaw1 says:

    That game was something, they did a lot of things right and at the same time it was a lot like the 9 or so others they lose at the end. Bench no scoring, Rubio missed multiple little short bunny shots, Pek missed a turn around near the end, Bad call on Brewer foul, Kevin with the 4 misses ( 3 really , but he did miss the rim so 4) Makes you wonder if he would have hit the shots with the no foul call earlier last week. Game made me sick, despite seeing them play real well in a lot of ways two games in a row.

    Need a 3 game win streak and to finally get rid of the .500 streak.

  2. phueller01 says:

    Remember the warehouse basketball episode in the first season of the American version of The Office? I always thought Steve Carell’s on-court antics were a bit too over-the-top to be funny, especially when he two-hand chucks the ball clear over the backboard. But then, two days ago, I watched K-Love miss an intentional miss, and I realized that Carell had been going for a “funny ’cause it’s true” moment all along.

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