Someday the Timberwolves are going to have 50 wins again.
It might take 45 years. We might be the Seattle Timberwolves by then. Basketball might also be played in underwater aquasuits because 80% of the country is covered in ocean. But damnit, the law of probability and statistics says that we’ll be accidentally good eventually.
And then this blog will be the SHIT! Everybody will think “Damn, this crazy dude wrote about the Timberwolves for almost 50 years and they sucked the WHOLE TIME. What a fan! Good thing Wally Szczerbiak III, Glenn Robinson IV and Robo Kahn brought us back to relevancy.”
I just pray to god that I don’t end up like one of those 95 year old Boston dudes that kicked the bucket a week before the Red Sox curse was broken. Hell, at least they had a good story. The Red Sox traded Babe Ruth and the so-called “Curse of the Bambino” lasted 86 years before they won another title. What did we do? We signed Joe Smith illegally and all basketball powers were transferred to the Lynx. Maybe our curse will be broken the minute we start appreciating our awesome WNBA team?
So give it up for our Olympic gold-winning star, Lindsay Whalen! Another round of applause for Tan White! Keep it going for Pasty Brown! Show some love to Juwanna Mann and Peppermint Patty! I have no idea who’s on our team, but they’re the Lakers and Celtics of women’s basketball, combined. Not only could they destroy the Timberwolves, but they could probably beat half the NBA. I don’t know if that’s actually true but we have a curse to squash, people. Go Lynx, go Lynx, go!
Next up we play the Portland Trail Blazers at home on Wednesday. If we win we’re tied for last place in the West with the Lakers. Join us, LA. We all float down here!