Five Reasons Why Andrew Wiggins Is Nifty

Posted: 01/08/2015 in Basketball, NBA, Timberwolves, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Andrew Wiggins is putting on a hell of a show lately.  He’s been averaging over 20 ppg the last eight games on 50% shooting.  Even the dickweed that hates for writes the “NBA Rookie Ladder” for ESPN thinks he’s the Rookie Of The Year, finally.  Of course he is.  Everybody else is hurt.  Regardless, Wiggins is going to be a real superstar in the league and here are five reasons why:

1) The dude has an electric smile.  It looks like 500 puppies being each given a chew toy.  It’s seemingly incapable of doing harm to anybody.  I know a guy with a smile like that and he’s actually a humongous grifter.  It’s called a “courtesy smile/laugh” and it’s used to make people feel comfortable while you steal their french fries.  But the point is in the marketing.  Superstars are good at making hoops AND money.  Toothpaste, soda, gum, chocolate bugs, Viagra, anything you can put in your mouth he can sell the shit out of!

Nobody can really be this happy.

Nobody can really be this happy in a suit.

2) Canada.  He’s like the Yao Ming of Canada.  Yeah, there have been some good Canuck players before like Steve Nash and Neil Young, but none of them could jump over a basketball hoop. (Neil’s harmonica always got in the way.)  The entire Great North Country is going to go nuts for Wiggins with their wallets full of loonies, toonies and whale blubber. And don’t you think about poaching him, Toronto!  You just back off!  You already have Drake!

3) Kobe Bryant recently said that looking at Wiggins is “like looking at a reflection of myself 19 years ago.”  I said that to somebody once, but it was at AA.  Wasn’t received as well.

4) There is a precedence for superstardom in Minnesota.  Kevin Garnett played 12 years with us.  He didn’t become a superstar in Boston.  If anything, he was a year or two past his prime by then.  I believe that Wiggins has the athletic ability and charisma to return us to the magnificent days of losing every year in the first round of the playoffs.  WE CAN DO THIS!

5) Oh and THIS:

Next up the Wolves play the Bucks Friday night in Milwaukee.  Jabari Parker is ranked #6 on the NBA Rookie Ladder, even though he’s out for the season.  Maybe if he hiccups from traction in the hospital, that biased-ass writer will bump him up to #2 again?  Excitement!

Comments
  1. bblaw1 says:

    an AA joke, nice HA!!!

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