Posts Tagged ‘Atlanta Center For Puppetry Arts’

The Atlanta Hawks are for sale. ¬†And as you would expect, the Seattle Supersonics are the #1 contender to steal them away. ¬†Granted, it’s possible that someone could buy the Hawks and choose to keep them in Atlanta. ¬†But that person would be really stupid, because the Atlanta Hawks have three fans, two of which may¬†be vendors. ¬†They had one of the greatest offensive threats of all time in Dominique Wilkins and the town¬†paid more attention to the Atlanta Center For Puppetry Arts.

But Seattle isn’t the only defunct NBA team waiting around to grab a spot¬†again. ¬†Here’s a handful of real former teams that could possibly throw their hat in the ring and steal the Supersonics’ Thunder:

The Waterloo Hawks (Waterloo, IA) – The Waterloo Hawks were an NBA team from 1949 to 1950. ¬†So there’s not a ton of history there. ¬†Waterloo isn’t even the biggest town in Iowa, much less one that people go to on purpose. ¬†The most famous fact about Waterloo is that John Wayne Gacy lived there for a spell. ¬†However, the serendipity of the Hawks turning into the Hawks is kind of convenient. ¬†And it’s not like they’ll have less fans than Atlanta did.

Pittsburgh Ironmen (Pittsburgh, PA) – I like the machismo of “Ironmen”. ¬†The town already has a football team called the Steelers, so all they’d need is a¬†soccer team named the “AluminuMEN” to complete the super manly trifecta. ¬†Who let those damn pussy Penguins in anyway?!

Sheboygan Red Skins (Sheboygan, WI) РAbort!  Abort!

Providence Steamrollers (Providence, RI) – I would be fine with the smallest state in the Union having a team, but only if their players were all 5’7″ or shorter. ¬†Plus, short players always have hilariously great names like Spud Webb, Mugsy Bogues and Earl Boynkins. ¬†So let’s make some stars out of people¬†named Dimples Tinytoons and Shrimp McShrimp Jr.

St. Louis Bombers (St. Louis, MO) – St. Louis has gotten some bad press lately, but it’s a BBQ town and I would eat a basketball if it were covered in BBQ sauce. ¬†If I were a congressman, that’s all I would take for bribes.¬† Get that town a team!


Congressman Mike Brody was arrested today after receiving 25 jugs of BBQ sauce as a bribe.  Brody says he regrets nothing and plans on eating his way out of prison with more BBQ sauce. Photo from

Tonight we play the Utah Jazz at home. ¬†The Jazz suck and they have twice as many wins as us, but their coach makes faces like Slimer from “Ghostbusters”, so tune in!