Posts Tagged ‘stand-up comedian’

thibsyelling

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Minnesota Timberwolves head coach Tom Thibodeau is a loud son of a bitch.  His voice cuts through all the noise during a game and his is almost all you hear whether you’re watching at home, at the game or listening to a death metal band at the State Theater down the street.  He sounds like what I imagine Tom Waits would if you were punching him while he was taking a poop.

Thibs’ demeanor often gets judged, but what people don’t know is that underneath it all he’s just misunderstood.  I grew up in Iowa amongst farmers who didn’t know how to express their emotions except for grunts and barks and I am fluent in Cookie Monster.  So here’s my translation guide to understanding the true, surprisingly sensitive meaning of Thibodeau’s guttural outbursts on the sideline:

“GO GET IT!!!” – Translation:  “Our dreams are only obtainable if we go for them.  Find your spirit animal.  Mine’s a giant panda that yells at his bamboo.”

“ICE!” – Translation: “Ah shit, Dwight Howard is shooting free throws.  We’re all getting Cherry Berry!”

“RICKY!” – Translation:  Change this face.  Be happy.  Enjoy!

“KARL!!!” – Translation:  “You are the future of our team, Karl.  You’re a lovely human being and I want you to be my Tim Duncan.  That Karlito alter-ego thing is a bit weird but hey I don’t have any real human relationships because of my bunkering down Cold War era style watching constant loops of Jimmy Butler driving to the game in the hidden camera I installed in his car.  Also, please stop shooting those threes.”

“JOHN LUCAS III!!!” – Translation:  “Is John Lucas III still on our team?”

WHAT THE FUCK?! – Translation:  “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Practice is important. The regular season is important. Your meetings are important. Your walk-through is important. Everything is important. You want to be a championship team, there’s a price to pay. And that’s what you have to do. There’s no shortcuts. You can’t shortcut your way to success.” – Translation: “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!”

“*gurgling noise*” – Translation:  “I had too much pastrami before the game and my heart-attack is imminent.”

Next up we play the Rockets at home on Wednesday.  If we can build a 25 point lead with 2 minutes left in regulation maybe we’ll only lose by ten?

GO WOLVES!

I’m going on vacation in Jamaica for a bit. Hopefully the Wolves win 100% of their games when I’m gone. I’ll be back in a couple weeks. Until then, check out my newest comedy clip on Rooftop Comedy. I’ll be headlining the House of Comedy in the Mall of America March 27 through 31. GO WOLVES!!!

Mike Brody’s newest comedy clip: Best And Worst Dog Ever